Is someone’s request too easy? Run with it!
Tyler Small: I just want to go over something that has come up again and again, in my coaching. And it is when somebody says, man, this person I'm working with my counterpart says that was just too easy. It didn't seem like it was enough effort on my part. They asked for a Five-star Experience.
[00:00:25] When I asked them for something I could do for them, that would create a Five-star Experience. They just gave me something that was super simple and easy.
[00:00:35]Now to that, I would say, just run with it. Now there's a couple of possibilities behind it. One of the possibilities is that the person, either doesn't trust you, or they can't think of a Five-star Experience, they're just not used to it. And in that case, just do it, do the little thing. If it's super simple and it's not breaking the law or anything, then go for it, run with it.
[00:01:03] And that will help them know that, yeah, you're serious. And you're going to do that thing. And you're going to be asking these questions. Going through the steps of this activity with the other person builds cooperation, it builds trust. And it will help them open up their mind to the possibilities that really you're eager to help them out.
[00:01:25] And that can be a really positive experience, even if it wasn't deep down in their heart. A Five-star Experience for them just going through these steps can still be a really positive experience because they're seeing, Oh my goodness, this person really does care about my needs and they're really going through these steps authentically. They genuinely want to help me out. The other possibility is that the little tiny, easy thing that your counterpart is asking for, it really is a Five-star Experience for them.
[00:01:58] And it just happens to be easy to do. And to that, I would say the same, just run with it.
[00:02:07] So in one day, this week I had two different people ask me this question of, Hey, it was just, it was too easy. What's going on here? What should I do? And I think the bigger concern is if you're asking for opportunities to serve and create value and contribute to the relationship.
[00:02:27] You're asking for the other person for these opportunities and they're giving you these tiny little things, and then your asks are huge in comparison. Then the concern is like, Oh wow, like I'll be contributing this tiny little amount and they'll be contributing this enormous amount.
[00:02:46] And I think that my response to that is this, first of all, a Five Star Experience is a Five Star Experience. And so again, I wouldn't discount what you're doing and the value that you're creating for them. On the other hand, something that's a big project.
[00:03:04] You can break down into chunks like. Hey. So especially if something takes more than a day, if a project takes more than a day, then every time they work on the project for sure is going to be a Five Star Experience. And when I'm doing something or asking for something, I typically will break it down as much as possible.
[00:03:27] For example, I might break it down into, three parts or 10 parts. , That all could be a Five-star Experience. Just getting started doing the smallest beginning step on the project could be a Five-star Experience. And that often is the hardest part as well is getting started. So if you're asking for Five Star Experiences, because you have established that Five Star Relationship, and you're saying, Oh my goodness, the things I'm asking for are just too small and compare to the things that they're asking for, then consider, how valuable, the things that you're doing are even if they take less time, even if they're easy for you and then consider breaking down the things that you're asking for into smaller bits. So that at least you can be more grateful. And another way to increase your gratitude is if somebody is doing this large project or this large heavy task for you.
[00:04:34] You can appreciate them multiple times and you can appreciate them in multiple ways. As long as it's genuine and sincere, then giving that gratitude frequently and regularly.
[00:04:46] Can be a Five Star Experience for that person as well.
[00:04:52]I am Tyler Small and I hope you've enjoyed this short episode of Hacking Emotional Intelligence,
[00:04:59]Man that was easy.