You just want more simple emotional intelligence hacks? I’ve given them to you in this episode. You’re Welcome :)
Tyler Small: I'm Tyler Small, and this is Hacking Emotional Intelligence. I just wanted to get, give you a few hacks that I experienced today.
[00:00:12] Hack number one So I'm going about my day. And somebody said, Hey, thank you so much. And, I think when somebody, thanks us for things it's can be very uncomfortable because we're not sure what to do, the appropriate thing to do. And thing that helps them to feel good about thanking you is to say, you're welcome. You can also say my pleasure in a very authentic way. If it truly was your pleasure, then tell it was my pleasure. And this is just a really good way when someone says, thank you. They're basically giving you a gift, the gift of gratitude.
[00:00:50] So by responding in such a way of you're welcome, or my pleasure is giving them a gift back. If you think about it as this tangible emotional gift, that's being handed from one to the other and back again it can build the relationship.
[00:01:08]Hack number two. When you're reaching out to somebody and you need to ask them a question or you're hoping to meet with them soon, you can say, and I'm still working on this one because of a very direct personality. Now if you're often in the situation where it's just natural or, the other person prefers it, then just jump right into it.
[00:01:28] But most people like to have a little bit of. Of buffer, right? They like to have this breaking of the ice. So you might say, Hey, do you have a quick minute or Hey, do you have time for a quick question? So that's my second tip.
[00:01:41] Hack number three is a body language hack, and I want to have a lot more episodes on body language. I love using body language.
[00:01:48] Today I was eating lunch with a business associate and I started to talk about something I'm very comfortable talking about, had a lot of knowledge, and he was asking me questions. I could tell he didn't have much knowledge in the area at all. And I started to become a little bit overly confident, and I started to do this thing where I tipped my chair back a little bit and started to put my hands up on the wall behind me. And I realized that I was exhibiting this power move, right?
[00:02:18] Oftentimes when you feel overly confident, you put your hands on the back of your head or you lift your head and you do some stretching maybe. And does it shows oh, like I'm the dominant person in this conversation. And a few seconds after doing that, I noticed, I thought, Oh my goodness, I'm probably coming off as such a jerk right now.
[00:02:37]He's asking for my advice and I'm giving him this domination display. It just doesn't, build the relationship, right? You want to build up the other person. You want to give as much power to the other person as possible when they're coming to you in a humble, vulnerable state.
[00:02:54]You want to lift them up to where you're at, not push them down with dominant body language. So just watch out for that. I think that it also, when we use super dominant body language with another person that we can also get carried away in our pride fullness and take on errors and go too far in kind of puffing ourselves up.
[00:03:14]Luckily I was able to reel it in quickly. And bring my hands down and take a more natural posture. And I encourage you to do the same if you're ever doing that. Now on the flip side, as part of hack, number three, I wanted to say if you've got somebody talking and they've got their hands up on the back of their head and they've stretched back in their chair, then that's just fine.
[00:03:35] In fact, that can be a great thing to help give someone respect and confidence and honor their knowledge or their perspective. If they're doing that, they're likely feeling really good about this conversation really happy, and it can be a very fulfilling experience to contribute and share information.
[00:03:55] So as long as you are authentically asking and authentically participating in that conversation, , if you genuinely need the information and you're genuinely seeking their advice and they're having a great time with it, then let them go on like that is a wonderful thing.
[00:04:10] Allow them to enjoy the moment as much as possible, right on their end. And that can be a huge build into the relationship when you, instead of choosing to be offended by their display of confidence that you choose to enjoy their enjoyment, right? That's an option that you have that you can consciously decide, whereas they might not realize what's going on.
[00:04:34] If you're taking the power pose yourself. So those are the three hacks. Hope you love them. Hope you enjoy them. Hope you can use them soon. I'm Tyler Small, and this is Hacking Emotional Intelligence.
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